In Communicating with Others, Connection Matters, and Listening Matters

In communicating with others, connection matters, and listening matters.
Listening is not a technique, but gently holding the hand the other person reaches out to you. It means feeling the connection between the two of you.
Often, the connection in communication has broken, yet one person is still talking on and on. This mode of lecturing is all too common in countless families and workplaces, and people are thoroughly tired of it.

1. This Has Also Been a Weakness and Shortcoming of Mine for Many Years
   As a result, I have lacked deep relationships and meaningful connections, which has seriously affected my development in many areas, including my studies, career, and social relationships.
2. Reasons
   The self is not healthy or robust enough; there are too many tangled personal issues to work through (various psychological problems, elitism, and so on); there is too much self-attack and self-criticism (without enough self-acceptance, accepting others is bound to be difficult); there is too strong an urge to prove myself, persuade, argue, change others, or control them;
   Seeking too much outside myself, too much in distant places; (many people are too fixated on poetry and faraway places, fantasies of deep conversation, or a female confidante, and cannot cherish the people around them)
   An unclear sense of boundaries and too strong an urge to change myself or others (imagining change to be too easy);
   Thoughts that are too chaotic, out of control, and sprawling;
   A lack of tranquility and of experiences of truth, goodness, beauty, light, and the unity of humanity and nature; a lack of a sense of connection;
   Poor relationship patterns since childhood, entangled with personal issues and karmic obstructions; a lack of healthy relationship patterns that foster deep connection;
   And other factors. This is how it is for me and for many others.