With a Stronger Sense of Agency, I No Longer Get Lost in Scrolling on My Phone

For many people, one part of truly maturing is coming to understand their compulsive phone use: moving from anxious, compulsive scrolling, to forcing themselves to quit, to no longer fearing it or getting lost in it after inner healing and growth. Short videos will not ruin a generation, just as arcades, video halls, internet cafés, and online novels did not ruin those born in the 1980s. See “How Ordinary People Can Experience Innate Wholeness.”

Once you have inner clarity and have established your worldview, outlook on life, and values, much of what you see while scrolling feels uninteresting.

I. As many people mature, they realize that some things have nothing to do with them

Previously, they would feel that these things were “relevant to me.”

1. One interesting, typical example is videos of street confrontations, boxing, and combat sports. Many men feel that these are “relevant to me” whenever they come across them. Once they truly mature, they feel: this has nothing to do with me. I am overwhelmingly unlikely to encounter a situation like this, and if I do encounter violence, what I will rely on is calm and composure, rather than detailed study through scrolling videos.

1. For example, when coming across novel glimpses of life in Europe, North America, or South America, the novel experiences of some students studying abroad, academic life at prestigious universities, or the lifestyles, spending habits, airs, and pretensions of some upper-middle-class people, I used to be “curious,” and even feel that these things were “relevant to me.” Now I tell myself: this has nothing to do with me.

1. Travel is another example. I have made peace with travel, too. There is no essential difference between the sunset over a distant sacred mountain and the sunset in our county town. What matters is still a peaceful mind and harmony between humanity and nature. Do not prize things simply because they are hard to obtain. There is no need to fixate on the most spectacular scenery or the most far-flung destinations. The little park downstairs is already beautiful.

II. Maturing, finding closure, and making peace with many of life’s questions

These changes mean that many subjects no longer hold my attention.

The big questions include macroeconomics, psychology, social relationships, family of origin, education, love, and working life.

Smaller ones include extended stays in different places, tennis, posture correction, fitness, desserts, and so on.

With fewer personal questions left to work through, there are also fewer karmic obstructions and fewer things to become absorbed in through those karmic obstructions.

III. No longer seeking outside myself

My previous immersion in my phone or the internet involved the fundamental question of seeking outside myself. I always felt lost, always felt that I needed to “explore.” Now there is light in my heart, and I no longer seek outside myself, so I no longer have such a strong urge to explore. I can rest in the present without losing myself in a dazzling, bewildering world.

IV. Now, after looking for a while, I start to recoil

I cannot keep scrolling even when I want to.

Much of what I come across feels like an insult to my intelligence and a waste of my life. That interrupts me and sounds an alarm, reminding me that something is amiss with this scrolling. So there is no immersive, absorbing “flow” to using my phone, and I toss it aside.

V. Enjoying mindfulness

When I walk, I do not want to look at my phone. I want to look more at the nature along the roadside and experience walking.

When I eat, I do not want to look at it. I feel it would disrupt the rhythm and enjoyment of eating.

At bedtime, I would rather press on my abdominal muscles, squeeze around my ribs, stretch a little, let some random thoughts wander through my mind, or think seriously about a question. As I think, I drift off to sleep. It is unlike before, when getting into bed felt like nothing more than a prelude to playing on my phone.