Your Energy Curve and Awareness Curve

I. Unity of Mind and Spirit
Energy: body and mind; awareness: spirit.
Their division of roles and coordination are like those of a pilot and copilot, or a driver and boss.

II. Patterns of Rise and Fall
Energy and awareness fluctuate like water: their rises and falls follow patterns, but cannot be fully predicted.
Regulating energy peaks: when energy is low, remember the quiet confidence of the authentic self that was there when energy was high. Recognize the many ways energy is wasted, and stop making futile efforts, trying to be everyone’s source of comfort, and saving others. When energy is moderate but you cannot resist soaring arrogance and fantasies driven by greed, anger, and delusion, remember what it was like when energy was low.
Sometimes energy is moderate and awareness is low; sometimes energy is low and awareness is high. At other times, both energy and awareness are high, or both are low.

III. The Mutual Influence of Energy and Awareness
Situations such as prolonged high energy, prolonged low energy, and rapid shifts between high and low energy can help heighten awareness.
Consider recording your energy and awareness levels every day.
Prolonged depletion, internal friction, and busyness lead to an unnoticed buildup of tension, stress, and cortisol, drawing down many positive reserves. Always throwing yourself headlong into doing things and running yourself ragged. Until you are exhausted, until you break down.
Sustained positive nourishment—serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, and so on—is the biochemical basis of happiness and joy.

A pattern over the past few years:
Awareness amid low energy occasionally leads to a breakthrough or a piece of work, which receives feedback, and energy then rises to a moderate level.
But as energy rises, greed, anger, delusion, fantasies, and fixations resurface, as do restless activity and self-exploitation, followed once again by low awareness and low energy. Along this fluctuating curve, there are occasional moments of high awareness and tranquility in the authentic self.
This has been the classic pattern over the past few years.
After a period of low energy, energy recovers and begins to climb. Once it reaches a moderate level, I cannot resist getting carried away. I want to indulge in greed, anger, and delusion, to show off, to save people. Fluctuations between narcissistic depression and narcissistic excitement; narcissistic manic depression.