What Are the Roots of Self-Attack, Self-Doubt, and Toxic Shame?

In earlier pieces—“How People Become Better,” “Spiritual Practice Is a False Concept,” “A Settled Heart Gives Rise to All Possibilities; an Unsettled Heart Gives Rise to All Demons,” “Karmic Obstructions,” and “Returning from Tranquility to Pain, or from Pain to Tranquility: The Truth About Spiritual Practice,” among others—I have already outlined the basic framework of inner growth. Karmic obstructions -> a settled heart -> tranquility -> presence and ease -> innate wholeness and unity between humanity and nature. (Earlier article: “I Have Finished Writing About the Fundamentals of Inner Growth and Awakening [So-Called Spiritual Practice].”)

This article examines and organizes the devastating forms of inner conflict and karmic obstructions named in the title, using psychoanalysis (psychodynamics) to explain their roots. (Note: I have no professional training in psychology; this is for reference only.)

I. Self-Attack

(1) Breakdown

1. Kohut’s self psychology: a fragmented self and narcissistic rage; when rage cannot be expressed outwardly, it may turn into self-deprecation or self-destructive behavior.
2. Defense: escaping feelings of helplessness by gaining a sense of control through self-attack.

(2) A Harsh Superego

1. Freud: a harsh superego and internalized authority; the self-destructive death instinct.
2. Lacan: the violence of the Symbolic and the gaze of the big Other.

(3) Self-Hatred (a Specific Term Used by Horney)

1. Basic anxiety, neurotic tendencies, and attributing problems to oneself -> the painful experience of disintegration of the self and inferiority.
2. A harsh superego and the internalized tyranny of the shoulds.

(4) Internalization of Toxic Relationships

1. Klein: in the depressive position and in relationships of “love and hate,” aggression turns toward oneself.
2. Winnicott: 1) Explaining the relationship: internalizing a bad object and attributing suffering to oneself. 2) Maintaining the relationship: preserving a connection with the object through self-attack (“Being punished is better than being abandoned”).

II. Self-Doubt

(1) A By-Product of Self-Attack: A Harsh Superego, a Sense of Defectiveness, Low Self-Worth, and So On.

(2) An Insufficiently Robust Self

A lack of inner conviction and confidence, unstable self-esteem, a need for external validation, and self-questioning.

(3) Inner Contradictions

1. Conflict between the id and superego leaves a person conflicted, confused, and questioning themselves. Lacan: the gaze of the big Other and symbolic castration; individuals are compelled to define themselves through symbols (such as social standards), while their authentic experiences of themselves (and their needs) are often repressed. Self-questioning: Who am I, really? Is this really what I want?
2. The contradiction between inferiority and arrogance.
3. Ambivalent attachment.

(4) Defense

A tragic form of self-protection—hurting oneself to avoid a greater psychological breakdown.

1. Defense Against Breakdown

Using excessive questioning to “rehearse failure,” lowering expectations of success to avoid a sudden collapse of self-esteem (for example, “If I doubt myself in advance, failure won’t hurt as much”).

1. Stagnation and Procrastination as Defenses

Replacing action with repeated thinking (questioning) to avoid confronting an uncontrollable reality.

(5) Toxic Relationships

Maintaining relationships with parents and with social expectations by negating and distorting oneself.

(6) Directions for Healing:

Explore the early relationship patterns behind self-questioning (for example, “How were you responded to when you expressed your needs as a child?”);

Externalize the questioning voice (for example, “Who did this voice saying ‘You’re not capable’ originally come from?”), distinguishing oneself from internalized objects;

Rebuild basic trust in oneself and others through the transference relationship.

III. Toxic Shame

(1) Severe Damage to the Self

1. One of the key symptoms of CPTSD.

1. Early Attachment Trauma and Failures of Mirroring

A child’s basic needs are met with rejection or humiliating responses from caregivers. The child internalizes this rejection as the shame of “My very existence is wrong.” Feeling ashamed because “I am who I am.” (An existential trauma—the individual failed to receive basic recognition as a “person” in early relationships. Self-negation at the level of a profound existential crisis.)

1. Narcissistic Injury and Disintegration of the Self

Narcissistic injury brings a sense that the self is shattered. It also gives rise to two defenses: a. a grandiose self (concealing shame, as in excessive narcissism); b. narcissistic depression (becoming trapped in the shame of “I am worthless”).

1. A Sequence of Processes

First comes a deeply painful experience, followed by cascading consequences and multiple defense mechanisms: withdrawal, self-attack and self-destruction, self-questioning and procrastinatory perfectionism, and a false sense of superiority. Long-term shame may lead to emotional dissociation.

(2) The Experience of Toxic Shame

Winnicott: without sufficient mirroring, a child cannot develop a sense of a true self and instead develops a “false self”—a survival strategy of pleasing others while concealing what is authentic, with the shame of not having been accepted at its core.

(3) A Toxic Superego: An Internalized, Persistently Humiliating Superego

Imperfection deserves humiliation; even small mistakes provoke intense shame.

(4) Toxic Relationships

1. Projective Identification and the Intergenerational Transmission of Shame

Unable to process their own shame, caregivers project it onto the child: “You’re such an embarrassment to me.” Through projective identification, the child internalizes this intense shame.

1. The Oppressive Internalization of Social Power Structures

Marginalized groups and structural shame, such as the shame experienced by night-soil workers and sexual minorities.

(5) Directions for Clinical Intervention

Rebuilding a Safe Therapeutic Relationship

Through the therapist’s unconditional acceptance, the individual experiences “I can be accepted even when I’m imperfect,” gradually revising early object-relations patterns.

Externalizing and Deconstructing Shame Narratives

Helping patients recognize that “This is not your voice, but an internalized critic,” and distinguish “facts” from “perceptions distorted by shame.”

Mourning Unmet Needs

Facing the grief and anger caused by early trauma (for example, “I should have been treated better”), transforming shame into legitimate mourning.

V. Conclusion

Self-attack, self-questioning, and shame are not forms of rational thought and judgment; they are themselves symptoms, a form of karmic obstructions.

Given the roots of these deeply draining forms of inner conflict, I will summarize only the directions toward improvement:

(I am not a psychological counselor. I have organized this from the perspective of personal growth rather than clinical practice, while also questioning concepts such as striving, change, and spiritual practice from the perspective of Daoist philosophy. [Earlier article: “Spiritual Practice Is a False Concept.”])

(1) Strengthening the Self

1. Stable confidence and self-esteem; affirmations of one’s existence through self-validation, a sense of conviction, and so on.
2. The growth and sublimation of personality; Maslow’s *Motivation and Personality*.
3. Innate wholeness and the experience of tranquility in the id. Earlier articles: “Tranquility of the Id” and “I Suggest Keeping a Diary to Record Your High-Energy Moments.”
4. The ability to accept the reality of one’s situation and one’s authentic self.

(2) Healing Existential Crises

1. Safety

Experiences of safety and an increased sense of security; easing basic anxiety;

Earlier article: “Where This Heart Is at Peace Is My Home: An Unsettled Heart Gives Rise to All Demons; a Settled Heart Gives Rise to All Possibilities.”

1. Presence and Ease

Earlier article: “Presence and Ease Are the Answer to Existential Crises.”

1. A Deep Sense of Connection and the Experience of Unity Between Humanity and Nature

Mindfulness, flow, and experiences of truth, goodness, and beauty.

Earlier articles: “Zhuangzi and Nature Heal Existential Crises” and “‘Pinduoduo Comment-Section Literature’ and ‘Healing at the Food Market’”; Wu Zhihong’s *Deep Relationships*.

1. Unconditional Goodness and an Unconditional Sense of Existence

(3) Healing Through Healthy Relationships

1. Nurturing relationships; what Rogers called “helping” relationships; earlier article: “Choosing Your Social Relationships.”
2. The role of healthy objects: experiences of mirroring, working through transference relationships, and internalizing healthy ideal objects.

(4) Processing Karmic Obstructions

Earlier articles:

“The Birth of a New Ego: The Spiritual Practitioner’s Ego”

“A Special Series on Karmic Obstructions” (excerpt below)

a. The origins of karmic obstructions: negative experiences, emotions, states, and the ego.

b. The roots of karmic obstructions: emotions and suffering; the ego, fixations, and identifications; psychological defenses, trauma, and illness.

c. The formation of karmic obstructions: inner entanglements, emotional knots, and stagnation; habitual tendencies, character, psychological patterns, and personality patterns; lumps and thorns; towering walls, abysses, and quagmires. Inner demons. Ego identification.