Accepting Low Spirits and Distress: No Self-Attack, No Forcing Myself to “Be Aware”

Accepting Low Spirits and Distress: No Self-Attack, No Forcing Myself to “Be Aware”
Do what I can do in the present.
I cannot do what I cannot do in the present.
There will be moments when I cannot be aware.
There will be moments when I can be aware.
Awareness is not something I can obtain through effort, nor is it something I can control.
When awareness arises, I will stop doing the things that need to stop, such as striving, forcing myself, or playing on my phone, breaking the vicious cycle.
Then I will do what needs to be done in the present—usually resting—and my capacity for awareness will improve, creating a virtuous cycle.
I direct my energy toward caring for myself, toward my own abilities and energy. A virtuous cycle of energy.
Japanese Morita therapy: Let suffering take its natural course, and do what needs to be done in the present.
When I am suffering or distressed (whatever kind of negative state I am in), I am simply suffering or distressed. I have no strength to be aware, no strength to pull myself out of the distress.
My progress and what I have learned are that, in some states:

1. I allow myself to feel distressed, without attacking myself for it (for procrastinating, being restless, lacking perseverance, and so on).
2. I record my distress. Being seen brings relief, and later I will empathize with myself through my journal.
3. I know the distress will pass and peace will return. (See the earlier piece, “Returning from Suffering to Peace, or from Peace to Suffering”)
   3.19 When people are struggling and at a low point, of course it is easy to feel that everything they do is wrong.
   Anything they have done imperfectly feels like yet another wrong on top of that.
   But what if we look over a longer span of time? Those supposedly wrong things may not actually be wrong.
   Take a long-term view of myself.
   And, just like this stray cat, survival is inherently a wild thing. Survival and existence need no explanation; whether they are good or bad, right or wrong, does not need to be judged by others.