A Very New Kind of Ego: The “Homework Setter” Ego

Many spiritual practitioners find that after their state of mind and understanding have grown, a very new kind of ego emerges instead. Yet another very new variant of the “striver” ego and the spiritual practitioner ego: the “homework setter” ego.

II. What Is the Homework Setter Ego?

The deep mind/libido (karmic obstructions + innate wholeness) knows everything, busies itself with everything, and responds to everything. Yet “I,” the ego’s conscious thinking, refuse to accept this and keep fussing and interfering, rather than resting in stillness and non-action.

I wrote “The Structure of ‘Me’: The Real Me Accompanies the Libido” to discuss libido fairly systematically.

But once “I” become aware that libido is working, having fun, relaxing, and creating, a thought “arises” in “me”: why not assign some homework to Big Brother Libido? (These days, I tend to call my inner deep mind Big Brother Libido, or the Libido Elephant.)

Well then! The “taskmaster” is back, and self-exploitation and self-flagellation begin again. Compulsive striving and the exam-taking mentality have flared up again.

That is what this article is about.

III. Let’s See What Homework Has Been Assigned

A great pile of homework gets left for libido: come on, Libido, think about this question; come on, Libido, write about this topic; come on, Libido, do a livestream tonight.

The homework setter ego is very much like someone who is happy to play with a child, but insists that whatever they play, the child must write an essay or a reflection afterward.

That is pretty frightening.

One spiritual practitioner said, “The funniest thing is that sometimes I’m now afraid to go to the park. Because when I go to the park, the homework setter ego pops up:

1. Come on, Libido, walk around the park and see what thoughts and feelings come up. Ha ha, go and find that ‘peace and tranquility’ you talk about.
2. How about that? I’ve brought you here again. I’m good to you, aren’t I? Hurry up and recover that feeling of oneness with nature you had before, that feeling of tranquility. Find that feeling of relaxation and tranquility, free from worries.
3. Quick, go look at the fish, listen to the birds, look at the leaves, touch the leaves.”

Libido is already irritated, and hearing the homework setter ego fuss like this makes it even more irritated. It becomes afraid at the sight of a park, afraid at the sight of nature.

IV. Avoiding Homework, Avoiding the Ego

One spiritual practitioner said, “Because of the homework setter ego, for a while Libido was a little reluctant to go to that loveliest little park. Instead, it went to another small grove. Because that place was fresh and new, my whole being was immersed in fresh sensations. The ego wasn’t there, and no one was assigning homework. I wasn’t avoiding the park. I was avoiding myself.”

Ultimately, libido is guiding us; it is finding its own way of getting along with the ego. It is not “I” who am healing the inner child. It is the inner Big Brother who is accommodating me and healing me.

V. The Homework Setter Ego’s Greed, Aversion, and Delusion

The homework setter ego is a new variant of greed, aversion, and delusion. Rest in stillness and non-action, let things take their natural course, and let libido live its life in peace.

Flow is something you may encounter but cannot force, yet everyone single-mindedly pursues this state. But it is precisely this pursuit that keeps us from experiencing flow.

Flow is libido flowing, Big Brother Libido dancing. “Wanting” flow is the ego making a mess of things.

Back when my abilities were limited, I would occasionally come up with and write down a completely new, brilliant insight, and leap for joy. Now that my “abilities have improved,” however good an article I write, I feel that “this is only what’s expected.” Then it’s “write another one,” and “why can’t you write anything now?” Greed, aversion, and delusion—the taskmaster’s exploitation. Have my abilities improved or declined? Having lost simplicity and the acceptance of being unable to do things, I am ill-equipped to live an ordinary person’s life well.

VI. Stillness and Non-Action

Going to the park is just going to the park. Don’t assign yourself any tasks.

Be spontaneous, follow your inclinations, and let libido do whatever it wants. It is like leaving a child to play on the beach. Freedom and ease are rare in life.

In stillness and non-action, the light of the true self’s innate wholeness will shine upon us, warming and melting the hard ice of karmic obstructions.

Like that child on the beach, with innate wholeness. Let the child play, explore, and create freely.