Appreciation for My Past Self, Appreciation for My Present Self

Appreciation for My Past Self, Appreciation for My Present Self
I. Gratitude Is a False Concept: Appreciation, Rather Than Indebted Gratitude
Gratitude often seems to imply looking upward in one direction, which is one-sided. The forebears of Marxism, the Daoist philosopher Zhuangzi, and the great masters of psychology do not need our indebted gratitude; they have no sense of bestowing favors. What we feel toward them is cherishing, esteem, respect, and appreciation.
They simply embody truth, goodness, and beauty naturally, and we appreciate that beauty. Moved and inspired, we find the luminous power of truth, goodness, and beauty within us awakened as well.
I feel this beauty, and I too am part of it. We are all children of the universe, connected through light, in unity with heaven and nature.

II. Appreciation for My Past Self
Rather than belittling my past self, I appreciate who I was. “How Ordinary People Can Experience Innate Wholeness”
An immature child, with a frail body, struggling to survive and fighting my way through such hardships. A rural child, facing loneliness, bullying, exploitation, pressures from all sides, loneliness, and bewilderment, making my way through it all—even if all I managed was admission to a secondary vocational school or a junior college.
“Do Not Stab Your Past Self in the Back”: My past self was much weaker than I am now, lacking so much knowledge and so many resources. Yet that self faced painful, terrifying experiences that even my present self would find difficult to handle, and managed to steer me clear of them. And still I actually judge my past self’s performance negatively, poorly—even though I am the only eyewitness to what my past self went through.
“We Have Always Been Fighting Alongside Our Past Selves”:
Familiar karmic obstructions, inner demons, and old adversaries keep reappearing. We have always been facing the same old adversary. Karmic obstructions and inner demons bring the small self I once was into the present again and again, and again and again I taste my past self’s collapse, dissociation, helplessness, and sense of lowliness.
We realize that even our present selves can hardly bear this pain, let alone who we were back then. My past self really did remarkably well and gave everything.
The person I was then was a brave, wise warrior, neither lowly nor vulgar. It is precisely because that person was so brave and wise, embodying truth, goodness, and beauty, that I have made it to today.
Thinking carefully, at every stage I have been active and made efforts, and I have also been discouraged, exhausted, confused, and unfocused. I have cherished new opportunities, and I have also scrambled to meet new challenges. Human beings are finite, ordinary living creatures. Both yin and yang states make up the whole of human life, continually giving rise to one another. There is no need to take a one-sided view.

III. Appreciation for Giving My All
Affirm all of myself; there is no need to be too harsh on myself. My psychic energy/libido has already done all it can. “Psychic Energy/Libido Determines Destiny”
Seeing that I have already given my all moves me, and frees me from an obsession with striving. I appreciate my own efforts.
So, in the present, I let go with relief and rest at ease. Stillness and non-action.
“Striving Is a False Concept: Forcing It Misses the Mark; Let Things Take Their Natural Course”
At peace in the present, I am going nowhere else.

IV. Appreciation for My Present Self
Appreciating my past self means appreciating my present self, because my past self is nothing more than a succession of “present selves.”
The past and future are illusory; only the present is real.
All the real beauty we wish to appreciate is here in the present: the affection, the people, the beauty, the clear breeze and bright moon, the tranquility, the unity with heaven and nature, the connection. Face the present, acknowledge the present, accept the present, be grateful for the present.
I appreciate my body, my psychological defense mechanisms, my deeper mind, and my libido.
I appreciate my truth, goodness, and beauty; I appreciate the light within my heart; I appreciate my walking upright along the right path. The small self appreciates the greater self for its embrace and healing; the elephant rider appreciates the elephant for carrying the burden and pressing onward.
Appreciating my present self and my present self feeling appreciation are one and the same. Appreciation means feeling stirred.
Why is it that I cannot feel stirred, touched, or moved by myself?
That trembling of the soul when we feel connected with the beauty of all things.
We have innate wholeness, exist unconditionally, and are forever part of the universe.