Embracing a Low State

Accept, embrace, and respect every low state, including dejection, aimlessness, procrastination, lack of discipline, and emptiness.
I. A low state is an outcome, reality, pain, and part of oneself—not an enemy
There is Cthulhu in low states, often accompanied by existential predicaments, which makes them all the more frightening. “On Living in the Present.”
Accept, respect, record, and savor low states; coexist with them rather than simply rejecting and discarding them.
Low states often hold the realities of life, the direction of the soul, and the deeper mind.
Everything is as it is. Dejection, aimlessness, lack of motivation to act, procrastination, lack of discipline, and so on are also reality; within them are the deeper mind and libido. Record them as they are rather than rushing to reject them. “Living in the Deeper Mind”
Within procrastination, there is often the deeper mind’s questioning of one’s direction and its hopes for a direction of one’s own. “Procrastination Is a False Concept.” Aimlessness itself contains dejection at being unable to be oneself. “Libido Will Mourn Itself”
Connecting with my past self, I realize that the emptiness, confusion, loneliness, and meaninglessness of childhood and adolescence were not my own personal aimlessness or problems to work through. As countless songs such as Da Zhangwei’s “Stillness” and Lo Ta-yu’s “Childhood” express, they are shared problems, social problems.
II. Distinguishing friend from foe: low states are not the enemy; the negative self that refuses to allow low states is the enemy
Mistaking karmic obstructions (the superego, the ego) for oneself, and mistaking oneself (low states, procrastination) for the enemy.
“Our Generation’s Battlefield Is Within: Our Most Important Friend and Enemy Are Both Ourselves”
The real enemy is not the low state, but the internal and external karmic obstructions that cause it, including rejecting and belittling low states, attacking oneself, and the very absence of care, companionship, understanding, and connection with oneself.
The harsh superego, the overseer that refuses to let oneself be in a low state, is the traitor within that has made a pact with the big Other, Cthulhu; it is the real Cthulhu. Rejecting and belittling low states/oneself does not help one emerge from a low state.
“The Real Enemy: Prolonged Tension and Mental Fog”
III. The root of low states is the negative self
“All Negative Selves Are Not Me; They Are Karmic Obstructions, They Are the Enemy”:
Innate wholeness has the power to heal and recover. What obstructs a person’s recovery? The negative self. The negative self puts one in a low state, then hates that low state, hates oneself, treats oneself harshly, and obstructs recovery. This is making an enemy of oneself, destroying oneself—the opposite of loving oneself and being oneself.
Becoming like Zhang Xuefeng is the clearest example: working with excessive intensity, emotional instability, staying up late and rising early, and poor sleep. Food heavy in oil and salt, compulsive exercise. Any onlooker can see that the only thing he needs to do is rest. But why doesn’t he rest?
How frightening karmic obstructions are. Is this thing within that wants to kill oneself really oneself? No, it is the internalization of the external big Other, of karmic obstructions.
Others: the night-watchman ego, the mental-energy asthma predicament (mental-energy exhaustion + panicked exertion), libido panic (temporary disorientation), the vicious cycle of scarcity and karmic obstructions
IV. Coexisting with low states
Earlier pieces: “Before Reaching Full Accomplishment, People Will Spend a Long Time in States of Low to Moderate Mental Energy,” “A Day of Karmic Obstructions Is an Unhappy Day: Care for Yourself,” “Accept Feeling Low and Uncomfortable: Do Not Attack Yourself or Force Yourself to ‘Be Aware’”
Mindfulness—greed, aversion, and delusion
As one’s state fluctuates, there is greed, aversion, and delusion around mindfulness, flow, and the capacity to act (high energy) in one’s studies and career, and anxiety, belittlement, disgust, and rejection toward low states. This is itself falling into delusion and draining mental energy.
Earlier pieces: “The Task-Doer Ego,” “The Awareness-Practitioner Ego”
The importance of self-care
Compassion and wisdom toward oneself. To understand someone, look at how they treat those around them, and even more closely at how they treat themselves. “Seeing the Importance of Metacognition Through How We View Procrastination,” “Caring for Yourself Amid the Torrential Rains and Flash Floods of Life and Emotional Inner Conflict: Emptiness, Stillness, Peace”
Become still within a low state and recognize the realities of oneself and one’s life, gradually entering “The Natural Unfolding–Question–Answer Cycle.”
The most common, simple scenario: after spending a whole day feeling low, uncomfortable, and caught in inner conflict, one finally remembers that one did not sleep well the night before and needs to catch up on sleep.

8.11 Reading Van Gogh’s “Letters to Theo”: even with Van Gogh’s sincerity, great luminosity, and path of mastery, he still questioned and belittled himself all along the way. Only gradually, through the people, great luminosity, and the Way, did he rebuild connection and confidence and reach full accomplishment.