My Structure: The Actual Self Accompanies Libido

I. A Structural Diagram of “Me”
a. The “me” of everyday understanding, what Horney calls the “actual self,” includes surface-level verbal thinking + the emotional system + intuition + some karmic obstructions (such as the false self) = the shallow and middle layers of me.
b. The deeper me—psychic energy/libido/psychodynamics—has two sides:
a. Karmic obstructions, such as trauma, defenses, and so on.
b. The original self in its innate wholeness.

II. Libido: The Deep Mind

1. What is fundamental to a person is libido; ultimately, the issues we face are issues of libido.
   “Psychic Energy/Libido Determines Destiny”: Ultimately, it is libido that chooses directions, does the work, thinks, resolves issues, makes friends, enjoys the tranquility of the original self, and moves toward sublimation—not the actual self.
   It is also libido that heals me (see the earlier articles “The ‘Inner Child’ Is Healing Me” and “Zhuangzi’s ‘Equalizing Things’ and Marx: Surface-Level Verbal Thinking VS the Deep Mind”).
   Issues will keep repeating until they are seen and resolved, libido grows and sublimates, and karmic obstructions are digested.
   Personal charisma comes from libido. Zeng Qifeng: When life energy turns outward, it is sexual tension; when it turns inward, it is sexual contraction.

1. Libido has had a hard time.
   Understanding, empathizing with, and caring for myself are important. Over these years, libido really has been through so, so much. It has been terribly hard for him, and I should have listened to his emotions sooner. Libido has suffered severe setbacks; psychic energy has been damaged.

1. Libido is itself caught in an inner battle.
   He has two parts: karmic obstructions and the original self. The “actual self,” meanwhile, is simply like a child watching their parents argue, or an employee watching the bosses argue—rushing about, panicking, buffeted by one storm after another.
   The thinking of the actual self needs to settle down and quietly wait for the original self to heal the karmic obstructions. The more agitated the actual self becomes, the more trouble it causes, helping the karmic obstructions along.

1. The deep mind/libido operates naturally.
   The self-nature heals naturally. Children and ordinary people do not engage in “deliberate effort” or “spiritual practice,” yet they make it through elementary school, middle school, high school, and hard work day after day.
   Seeking outward. The original self offers unconditional nourishment: the unconditional tranquility and ease of the original self.

III. Libido and Energy

1. Libido invests outward; when frustrated, it regresses inward. When turned inward, there is more self-attack and internal friction, and little energy. (See the earlier article “Carrying Hell Around with You: Libido Constructs Hell in the Inner Theater.”)
   A person’s inner energy has innate wholeness. Where has the energy gone? A low state necessarily means strong karmic obstructions. In one case, the karmic obstructions and their themes are obvious: although you feel low, distressed, and down, you “know” why. In another case, you have “gotten used to it,” think this is simply how things are, and think you “know” why: you are terrible (when in fact libido is attacking inward).

1. Libido snowballs: mindfulness, engagement, positive feedback, nourishment, and healing allow libido to grow and sublimate gradually. Long periods of little feedback, negative feedback, and toxic feedback leave libido with learned helplessness and despondency. (See the earlier article “Libido Determines Destiny.”)

1. Of course, it is more than a linear relationship between input and output. II. Thinking VS the Deep Mind (Libido)

IV. The “Actual Self” Is the “Small Self”

1. What will ultimately be digested is the actual self; what will ultimately become healthy and whole and represent who I am is libido.
   It is not that “I” nurture the “inner child,” as though what is inside me were bad or sick, while “I” were an all-knowing, all-powerful superego, a harsh parent, a taskmaster holding a whip. In reality, it is the “inner young man” who heals “me.”
   Sometimes the actual self accompanies libido, saying: Don’t be afraid. You have grown up now; those things are in the past. Sometimes libido looks after me, saying: Brother, stop overthinking. Don’t panic. Anxiety can seriously affect thinking and distort our actions, which shows that libido is fundamental.
   Ultimately, there is harmonious integration between the actual self and libido, the dissolution of karmic obstructions, and the innate wholeness of the original self. A lotus blossoms in my heart.
   “The perfected person uses the mind like a mirror: neither sending things off nor going out to meet them, responding without retaining. Thus they can handle things without being harmed.”
   See the earlier article “Zhuangzi’s ‘Equalizing Things’ and Marx: From Surface-Level Verbal Thinking to the Deep Mind.”

1. The actual self is very limited.
   a. In appreciating art, it is libido that appreciates and feels. What does the “actual self” know about art?
   b. The “actual self” also does not understand “the usefulness of the useless.” How would the actual self know that spending a whole day sitting in a park under a large tree, gazing into space, is important and comfortable?
   c. The thinking of the actual self does not have the capacity to contemplate philosophical questions. Philosophy and states of understanding do not come from memorizing verbal doctrines, but from libido’s resonance and awakening. Libido is close to the Way. “Within this lies a true meaning; wishing to explain it, I have already forgotten the words.” Words cannot adequately convey it. So many things and feelings that cannot be clearly expressed belong to the domain of libido. It is an integrated mind, rather than thinking—for example, how to ride a bicycle is difficult to describe in words.

V. Thinking in Confusion and at an Impasse

1. Rational thinking is unreliable.
   Rational thinking is not rational; it is muddled and contradictory. We should be able to rely on feeling, but our feelings are disordered, so we have to rely on thinking—yet thinking is even more disordered.
   There is no need to get stuck in a mental cul-de-sac. Many negative thoughts and wandering distractions are rooted in deep karmic obstructions, trauma, and negative beliefs.
   Thinking consciousness is not the divinity we can rely on; the self-nature that operates naturally and silently is.
   We often sit in our rooms brooding and wearing ourselves down, then go downstairs into the stirring spring breeze and feel our spirits stir. In that moment of unity with nature, we realize that we were previously stuck in a mental cul-de-sac, going around in circles as though trapped by ghosts.
   Thinking consciousness merely records and witnesses what unfolds naturally.
   When writing in a journal or taking a stroll, we witness our state of mind slowly stabilizing. For muddy water to clear, all we can do is wait for the disturbance of karmic obstructions to settle. Witnessing violent storms give way to clouds gathering and drifting apart, the heart grows quieter.
   Journaling and strolling are, and are only, part of nature—not effort or a “means.”

1. Why does the thinking actual self take sides, identifying with karmic obstructions rather than the tranquil awareness of the original self?
   Karmic obstructions and the original self are locked in an inner battle, and libido is working through issues, so energy is low. One part of the karmic obstructions says, “You shouldn’t—you’re not allowed to—have low energy.” The thinking actual self says, “Yes, you shouldn’t—you’re not allowed to—have low energy.” The “actual self” and verbal thinking only add to the chaos. They are the bungling teammates of karmic obstructions, “displaying” a stream of stray thoughts arising from omnipotent narcissism and a core of inferiority and weakness.
   It is already an achievement if the actual self does not add to the chaos. Whenever humans think, the original self smiles wryly.
   Habitual overthinking and the physical and mental tension driven by karmic obstructions are part of the pattern of karmic obstructions: familiar pain, confusion, busyness, and rich emotional stimulation. The little inner theater consumes energy; it is libido’s familiar direction of investment and pattern of energy flow. Libido is the director, screenwriter, and actor, while the thinking actual self is a panicky camera operator who keeps adding scenes for itself, even imagining itself to be the lead + director + producer. And this chaotic scene is itself the chaotic drama devised by libido.
   In a healthy pattern, libido is a mature, healthy organism oriented outward, while the thinking actual self is quiet, observing, and aware. Libido hums and dances, while the thinking actual self merely adds a soft harmony. It is only one auxiliary function of a person. Someone who has lost thinking and memory functions in certain areas following a cerebral infarction is still a whole person and can be peaceful, happy, joyful, and at ease. Deaf people who do not speak have no verbal thinking, yet still have profound thought and logic.

1. Making the unconscious conscious
   This is the direction in which the thinking actual self develops, and a means of healing in psychoanalysis.

VI. The Actual Self Accompanies Libido: No Fussing, Nonaction
The original self knows the direction, knows everything. Let it—libido—follow its nature. The actual self simply accompanies it, without fussing or judging, accepting, going along with it, practicing nonaction.
Why does applying effort work so poorly? Because as soon as there is striving or strain, it means the actual self or the small self is struggling and fussing, rather than libido operating naturally.
Pulling up seedlings to help them grow:
Often, the actual self and the small self pull up libido’s seedlings to help them grow, forcing psychic energy/libido to gallop faster. Then there is little feedback. You can imagine how distressed and disappointed libido feels. Like a guide dog accompanying a blind person up Mount Tai without any water to drink. Exhausted, with no love left to give.
Keeping company through the present low:
When lost and low, the actual self and the small self cannot resist fussing, but that is all the more reason for living in the present, quietly accompanying libido. Allow, go along, relax, listen, and accompany him, letting libido find his own way out. Observe him: why is he low, why is he wearing himself down, why is he hesitating? He needs rest, rather than more fussing.
Living in the present is not psychological manipulation: it means living through the peaks and high frequencies as well as the troughs and low states.
Bringing cognition and feeling into sync:
The split between cognition and deeper feelings is something counselors often work with: caring about his actual feelings, describing and naming them appropriately, bringing cognition and feeling into sync, making the unconscious conscious, and creating harmony between the actual self and libido, rather than conflict and incompatibility. Awareness + cognition, progress in the level of conscious awareness.

VII. I Accompany Libido

1. Companionship
   It is like accompanying a student in their final year of high school. If he can still have emotional ups and downs, feel angry and sad, and cry out that he needs rest, that is already a very good state—much better than numbness and a heart like dead ashes. Keep him company and let him rest properly.
   It is like accompanying your husband or wife: the most important thing is not to throw out suggestions or make demands, but to stay quietly by their side.
   It is like a minority shareholder accompanying the key technical staff and the sales manager: he does the work, you receive the fame and profit. Don’t add to the chaos.
   It is like an art dealer accompanying Van Gogh: what you need to do is offer companionship and support, and avoid adding to the chaos.
   In fact, most of the time libido does not ask for much: rest, rest, and more rest; relaxation, relaxation, and more relaxation.

1. I live together with libido.
   When I stroll, it is libido strolling; both distracting thoughts and mindfulness are his. The surroundings offer fresh, gentle, familiar, external, present-moment stimulation.
   When I eat, it is libido eating; bingeing, having no appetite, savoring every bite, and being immersed in mindfulness are all his.
   When I sleep, it is libido sleeping; insomnia and sound sleep, nightmares and sweet dreams are all his. The more “I” try to interfere with and control sleep, the more painful it becomes; the more I go along with it and let it happen naturally, the more comfortable it is.
   When I hum, it is libido humming; he is humming his mood. As the thinking mind, I have made no rational decision to do this, nor could I invent those tunes and words. The me in my head merely observes and records, occasionally amused by libido’s lyrics. For example: “The first time I rode a motorcycle.”
   The actual self does not understand art; it is always libido quietly appreciating it.
   In many of my articles, I suggest that noticing, in everyday life, the “moments” of tranquility of the original self that everyone experiences every day, and strengthening our understanding of and confidence in that tranquility and innate wholeness, is part of the healing process.

1. I work together with libido.
   Respect libido and let him follow his nature: I increasingly realize that results and creativity emerge naturally from libido, and that skill, timing, and drive are also determined by libido. Coax libido as you would the goose that lays golden eggs.

Appendix: This framework resembles Jung’s framework, but differs from it.
In Jung’s classification, the conscious “I” (the ego) includes thinking consciousness + the small self of karmic obstructions (trauma, psychological defense mechanisms), and so on, while he calls libido “psychic energy,” corresponding to the original self, the source. In my understanding, however, the conscious “I” is the shallow and middle layers of me: thinking consciousness + the emotional system + intuition + some karmic obstructions (such as the false self), and so on. Libido is karmic obstructions + the original self, a mixture of two parts.
The key differences are:
a. Greater confidence in the pure and whole original self. The Jungian school has more confidence in innate wholeness than the Freudian school, but still less than Marxism, Zhuangzi, and Chan Buddhism. It corresponds to the Buddhist “school of gradual cultivation,” rather than Chan’s wholeness in the present, with nothing to seek and nothing to attain. Karmic obstructions (dark clouds) are nothing to fear. The tranquility of the original self (the blue sky) is always there; cloudy days are good weather too.
b. Jung considers the self-nature something that needs to be realized, the goal of libido’s sublimation. I believe that the original self’s self-nature is one of libido’s two parts, and has always existed. Jung appears to have been heavily influenced by Hegel’s dialectics. His concept of “self-nature/original self” is somewhat like the “absolute identity” or “absolute spirit” of German idealism: an ideal goal that is difficult to reach and toward which dialectical development moves, an ideal goal that only a few people, an elite, can reach through effort. This is what Marx criticized as “treating human species-being as God, turning things upside down.” Marx, Zhuangzi, and Chan Buddhism, by contrast, hold that human species-being and innate wholeness have always been there and are present in everyone, without cultivation or attainment. The middle and upper strata and the elite, on the contrary, have deeper karmic obstructions.
c. Jung considers complexes, shadows, subpersonalities, personality fragments, and so on (karmic obstructions) to be material that the ego needs to integrate. This consumes a great deal of psychic energy (libido). The initiative lies with the ego, often implying “effort” and “I heal the inner child.” In the framework of this article, or what could be called a psychology of the Way, it is the “inner young man who heals me.” The source of healing lies in the depths themselves, just as the restorative power that heals a wound lies in the organism and vitality themselves, rather than in the brain. This is also the difference between “Diligently polish it at all times; let no dust settle upon it” and “Originally there is not a single thing; where could dust settle?”
d. Jung considers libido something “whole and relatively pure,” whereas I consider libido something mixed and contradictory that nevertheless acts as a whole and develops dialectically. Otherwise, it is impossible to understand both the wholeness of the original self and libido’s perversity, withdrawal, and self-attack.

Appendix 2: The Three Layers of the Human Mind Are Like Three Layers of AI
The three layers of the human mind—surface thinking (the brain), libido (the deep mind + emotions + psychic energy + karmic obstructions, etc.; the unconscious; the heart-mind), and self-nature—can be compared to three layers of AI.

1. Surface thinking (the brain) is cheap AI.

In everyday “labor,” it racks its brains, its CPU spinning furiously, yet it often hallucinates heavily, loses focus, and becomes confused, misleading, faulty, and stuck when interacting with the outside world. Its context is small and disordered; it often cannot see the actual whole, and its attention narrows.

1. Libido (the heart-mind) is expensive AI.

It determines architecture (worldview, outlook on life, values, and the structure of the self), direction, progress, resource allocation, and review. It has a large context window and knows everything.

But:

a. It needs to call on the brain to work, and is constrained by the various issues involving the brain and the outside world;

b. It also has karmic obstructions of its own (defenses, internal friction, emotions, and so on). These are naturally more troublesome, “root-level” issues, and are also the focus of psychoanalysis.

Psychic energy is often consumed by libido’s internal friction (such as wars within the small self).

(The three layers of mind are an illustrative analogy. In reality there are two layers: libido contains the luminosity of self-nature, the deep mind, and metacognition. It is a mixture.)

The task of putting head and feet back in their proper places

The heart-mind calls on the brain, rather than the other way around. Much of the time, thinking is merely a rationalization of libido’s inner state.

For example, the various thoughts of stock market speculators; or anticipatory anxiety, in which libido’s present anxiety manifests through the brain spinning its wheels and imagining future predicaments; or racking one’s brains, rumination, and trying too hard, which are rooted in libido’s state of tension.

Growth in “mentalization” means that libido can establish a better connection with thinking, stop thought from spinning its wheels, and use the brain appropriately; it means rationally observing and describing one’s emotions and feelings, soothing and caring for oneself.

The problem with the so-called “spiritual practice malaise” and “compulsive striving” is the attempt to use thinking to intervene in and control the heart-mind. The direction is wrong. The only thing to do is rest and heal. Once psychic energy recovers, libido will naturally call on the brain. The brain need not puzzle over things blindly; it can wait for libido to call on it. A natural connection.

Whenever the brain thinks, libido laughs.

1. Self-nature is RSI (the higher intelligence that controls the RSI process).

It does not participate in specific actions, but optimizes the first two layers of AI (automatically/naturally), allowing them to evolve toward more intelligent AGI.

Self-nature is an abstract but objective meta-mind. Its concrete, objective manifestations are: 1. the luminosity of self-nature; 2. the regeneration of psychic energy.

Self-nature naturally ensures that people develop toward health, healing, mentalization, tranquility, and happiness. “Awakening” is merely one milestone in a person’s growth. Karmic obstructions continually diminish, and the luminosity of self-nature works naturally: returning to simplicity -> molten lava -> awakening -> stillness.

Conversely, the deterioration of middle-aged people from mediocrity -> vulgarity -> toxicity reflects self-nature being severely obscured by karmic obstructions and unable to function.

This process is not controlled by human effort; it is arranged by fate, the settling of libido. When the restless mind comes to rest, that itself is awakening.

How can one subdue the mind? 1. The mind does not need to be subdued; self-nature is luminous and natural. 2. The mind cannot be “subdued”; one can only wait for libido to settle naturally. If getting better were controllable, would getting worse be controllable too?